How funny is that we think we are the only people with problems, and somehow we keep the mindset that, no, it will never happen to me. Yet somehow I was made the example. I got suspended. Not that I'm complaining, but... They are way more important things happening in Vero Beach High School that the Administrators should be concerned about then just me, using a friends lunch account. I'm almost positive that it's because everyone knows whose child I am, and everyone knows both of my gaurdians are complete lunatics.

And how funny is it that, yes, we gossip about one another...But it never really sets in that people have problems too. (Wait, is he saying it's not just me?) YES! I am! It hit me recently. I always focus on my self, and what's going on, and what I'm feeling...That's how I was raised, the "You should just be concerned about yourself" kind of thinking. But other people are having problems with their friends drifting apart from them too. Stephen and I aren't as close as we used to be, and the person I'm closest with is having friend troubles too. Although she's not complaining about it..the other is..

And this brings me along to the next subject...

How DO I feel?

Friday was the best times I've had in well over 6 months.

Today I got to leave work 3 hours early, and hang out with Kevin.

Bonding time with Stephen, Kevin, Boo, and Camilo.

Once again, I love this.

Well. Yep. That's it. It's going extremely well, I'm very happy with my decisions, and whenever I drift in thought, I end up grinning idioctiocally into space. Dreams be dreams, as Jack Johnson once said.

I feel like I'm being shunned again, but not by the people I expected... It's quite fascinating to see jeolousy and spite settle on the top of their priorities. Maybe it's because I was gone for 4 weeks. I don't know. It's really starting to bug me.

I've noticed that I have been quieter lately, as well... Seems that I don't have much to talk about, considering I know everyone's music taste, and no one is really into instruments.

I want to learn classical piano.

I want to talk to Erin, she said she needed to vent. -_-, too bad it's 12:26 at night.

WAHOO! I just got back from work, it was fun considering they pay me 6.50 and hour to wash dishes, drink soda, and talk the whole time. XD.

Zack came over after school, and we tore that shit up on guitar. Me and him play like no motha fuckin otha. A couple of days ago Me and Erin traded jackets. I love this jacket. I think I will never actually remove it.

I'm confused. I'm stuck. Why can't someone just TELL me which way to go?!?!?

My exams were..eh..sullen. I have a hunch that I only did bad on the French Exam. Let's hope it's that way.

<.<

>.>

I'm gonna go pwn some n00bs on Rakion, and wait for Erin to IM me.

ALSKHCVLQGH@# SHE CAME BACK!!!

Flew in yesterday, and had to sit next to the weird guy, who looked like an artist or something. He had the Johnny Deep beard thing goin on, and he was trying to make a move on me. IT was fuckign creepy. Then, he wouldn't talk when I talked to him.

Got home, ate Checkers, and watched Kill Bill Vol. 1, and part of 2. I got my room semi-straight, and put my new comforter and pillow in my bed. I talked to Erin for a while, XD, and kept telling Katie to shut up via Erin. SORRY KATIE!

I woke up this morning, with my eye all puffy and red..>/. It's semi gone now. Talked to Zack, and he hasn't called me back to confirm him coming over. It's only 3:14, but it FEELS later. G-G-G-GAY!

I played Rakion with Sam, drove to the Car Wash, washed the car, drove to the QZ, couldn't get my check and now I have to wait untill tommorow to get it, cash it, and blow it to BUY MY NEW GUITAR!!!

I'm psyched.

These are my rules!

It's the new year, it's time for all of our New Years revolutions. Here are mine..

1) Score a 2200 on my SAT
2) Get a 5 on my SAT essay
3) Buy my new guitar
4) Get in some kind of physical shape
5) Buy a Peavey 4x12 cabinet, and 6505 Plus II Head
6) Learn to live

Today was...entertaining. Me and my family, along with 4 other people, went to the Doube T Diner, and ate our worries away. (It sounds even better with a full stomach!) The food is actually real, and the service is quite amazing. Anyways, we came back, and I attemped to talk to Erin via texting. WOO! She just texted me back. I've been talking to Erin's sister Katie, as well. She's cool, and seems to think it's weird that she tells me her life story. Does anyone not tell me there life story after a week or two?

Nope, I'm just that good.

Let me holla to Zelda. 

I did good on Christmas. I got money, 7 shirts, 3 pairs of jeans, 2 cords, no hoodie :(, a bokun, luggage bags, and other stuff. 

"When nothing is found, nothing is taken"-me

I miss Florida. I miss Stephen, Erin, Matt, Andy, and school.

I saw Blood Diamond. With all of my influence, I recommend it. It's very good, but-be warned- it's very, very graphic. I was depressed, and almost cried 3 or 4 times.

That these are the bet days of your life. I'm pretty sure they are. Why is everone so over-dramatic?

I'm in a house I have'nt been in for 2 years. It's quiet downstairs, in this basement. The smeel of Japanese food dances under my nose, and the long sought-after taste of Sun-Drop is on my tounge. I'm here with my brother. He left a while ago, but he's coming back. He has to. I don't know what I could if he didn't. They only reason I still thrive is because that thought...that hope, still lingers on in me.

They're so many emotions coursing through me. I'm told I look in all the wrong places, I'm told that I can't find what I'm looking for, but I want this "quest" to be over. Will I ever be able to see her? Will she ever see me as I see her? I dare not ask. I wouldn't dare.

And they say these are the best days of our lives...

Aww, so today I woke up, and ate some shitty Smart Start. It was this faggish "Maple and Brown Sugar" style, and it tasted like a massive, 2 ton gorilla farted on each individual flake of cereal.

Played Rakion for a while, watched 'Scrubs' and laughed my ass off. Watched this chick named Tig on "Comedy Central Presents"...She was decent, but needed more liveliness. Hey, I liked your joke about your boobs, very true.. very true. After that was "Eddie Gosling." He just sucked. Get better jokes man.. Even I could have done a better stand-up than that.

Uh, I went to work, got 4 hours in, and put 75 biggies down on my guitar. I'm so pumped to play it in my home.

Anyone want to donate to my cause? I have to get 350$ by X-Mas..XD. I want to buy myitar, and a Wii by then!

Later guys. If you're grumpy, go crank one out.

So this is it? I was sick today. I went to sleep last night, and couldn't swallow without it hurting, and I wake up this morning to that PLUS not being able to talk. Fun!! And it's all right before the Holidays.

So I amused myself...O_O. And then I went online. Advertisers had hacked me account, so I changed the password. After that, I played MMORPG's for 6 hours, and rotted my brain.

Now I must go make cookies. Yay, I'm so cool.

I know what you're thinking...Nothing cool to say today?

Nope.

...One of those days. Things keep whirling around me, I still can't picture myself right now.

I'm the subject of anger, for one person close. They say I'm talking shit, but it would ahve never happened anyways. It's all just a joke, yet you can't trust me ever again. When has anyone? It wasn't important, It doesn't even matter. Why am I still fretting over such a trivial thing? I'll tell you this right now; If it's actually important...It will stay behind these lips, untill intsructed to be released.

I was quiet today. I wasn't myself. I didn't want to bury myself any deeper.

I fucked up, trying to parallel park. It's pretty hard actually. Everyone's driving, heh, and I have to wait till next October.

I need something to do. Today is longer than most. What shall I do for 3 hours?

To many influences, and too much to think about. Why does everything HAVE to happen? I 'm a dick, and I know it. You know it too, I know you do.

I can present myself formally, as in this little box of lines, or I can be the J.D. that you know in person. On here, I would rather hide behind a facade of false intellignece, and preach about what I don't know, and what I think is right and wrong.

Is it wrong to crave such things as luck, happiness, intelligence...even love? I do. I know it's not just me. I HOPE to whatever is there *motions vacantly in air* that I'm not the only one. Is it wrong to want to know more than everyone else?

Am I missing out on something? When did everyone start having sex? Is there really no alternative to these years of adolescence? I find it harder and harder to cope with the fact that I'm the only one, in my "cliche" that hasn't gone this far. Yet I constantly try to "stay in" the crowd, I'm always scratching on the door without a knob.

And I leave you with that, my friends. I leave you with that..